Te Anau,

New Zealand

DAY 7

Up is Down and Left is Right

I made it to New Zealand! The hop over from Sydney was super quick, just a 3-hour flight, enough to make it through almost three full episodes of House of the Dragon. No spoilers, please!

I landed in Queenstown but my final destination for the next few days is Te Anau, which is about two hours away. So I rented a car... and drove on the left side of the road for the first time. If you have never done this, let me tell you what it's like:

You may know that driving on the left side also means that the driver sits on the right side of the car. But just knowing that is not enough, you also have to remember to walk to the other side of the car, not the left side like you're used to. I am very proud of myself for not making a fool of myself before I even left the rental car parking lot, because I somehow opened the correct side of the car. (1/1, yes I am keeping score).

But once you're in the car, everything is backwards: you're sitting on the right (not left) side of the car, which makes you feel really discombobulated because you suddenly have all this car space to your left and no idea where that side of the car ends. The turn signal switch is on the right (not the left) and signaling right is down (not up) and signaling left is up (not down). Naturally, that also means that the switch for your wipers is on the left (not the right). Fortunately for me and all other drivers within striking distance of me, the gas and the breaks are the same as everywhere else, and so are the gears in the middle... except that you're sitting on the right so they are on your left (not your right), meaning you got to teach your left hand to shift from P to R or D. This may be the only time I'm glad I have an automatic and not a stick, seriously.

So after a quick mental dry run, I felt ready and drove off the parking lot... and straight into a roundabout... driving it clockwise. I feel like all brain cells were firing simultaneously trying to figure out which of the lanes were exit lanes and where other cars may be joining me in the circle. I somehow successfully found the right lane for the second exit, signaled left... except that instead of turning on my signal I turned on the wipers and they were now going at full speed as I was trying to navigate that exit. I managed to stay on the road and turn off the wipers, took a deep breath, just to realize that I get to practice driving a roundabout again... and then again. I feel like a roundabout is probably one of the most confusing things to do on the left side, so I'm guessing putting three roundabouts right where the rental car facilities are was absolutely by design. Why? Because I'm pretty sure a good percentage of drivers attempts to make it out of that area, either freak out or give up, and return the car immediately. It's a genius way to weed out incapable drivers right from the start and keep New Zealand's streets safer, don't you think?!

So I made it through those three roundabouts, but the next challenge was only a few minutes away. The next 30 min or so, the road is a narrow, winding road. Which would be a ton of fun to drive and enjoy the beautiful scenery, except that I was driving on the left side of the road and instinctively wanted to steer left every time a car was driving the other direction because it felt like they were way too close and about to hit me, especially the busses and trucks. Another challenge was the sharp curves, especially the left ones. If you're not used to having all this car space on your left, it's really hard to not accidentally 'cut' the curve and drive half your car into the rock wall.

With what felt like 100 sharp turns, I thought I finally, kinda, somewhat, sorta got the hang of it when a sign appeared that read 'road narrows.' I'm pretty sure I said "you gotta be kidding me" out loud, because of course that narrow road consisted mostly of very sharp left turns. My absolute favorite.

I made it through that and when the road became a little wider and straighter, I saw signs for lookouts, where you can actually stop and take in the beautiful scenery around you. I did not feel mentally prepared to actually pull over (especially not if that involved cutting over to the other side of the road) and then figure out how to get back onto the correct side of the street, so I just kept driving and made a mental note to make those stops on my way back to Queenstown in a few days.

So yea, all of that to say that I managed to make it to Te Anau alive and in one piece, without any dents or scratches on the car. Tomorrow it's off to a heli-hike at the Kepler track. I can't wait!

DAY 8

A heli-hike to the top of Mt. Luxmore

Today was the first full day in Te Anau, and day 1 of the three-day Great Walk Tour. The weather was gorgeous and perfect for hiking, not too hot, not too cold, and just the right amount of cloud cover. So up we went in a helicopter. Yes, a helicopter. We flew from Te Anau across Lake Te Anau to Luxmore hut, one of the overnight camps for backpackers who do the full 3-4 day hike. You may call flying up there cheating, but please wait until you hear the rest or the hike before you judge me ;-)

After landing at Luxmore hut, we hiked through alpine terrain all the way to the summit of Mt. Luxmore. A 4-hour round trip with a steady, and at times steep and narrow, incline. The views of Te Anau and the fjord below us was absolutely stunning and the 360 degree view from the top is unbeatable.

After hiking back to Luxmore hut, we hiked all the way down to Te Anau lake for another 3 hours on a steady downhill path. You can kinda see it in the first photo, but the landscape goes straight from alpine to a thick beech forest. There we saw the probably tiniest orchid, so tiny I couldn't even get a good picture of it (and I tried), old man's beard (which made everything look like an enchanted forest), and New Zealand moss that can absorb 20x its body weight of water in less than an hour!

When we reached the bottom, we got to chill on the beach while we waited for the water taxi to come pick us up. Of course, there was also a German girl in our group, Leoni from Stuttgart. I swear, New Zealand is very close to becoming the 18th state of Germany (after the 16 real states + Mallorca).

Overall, we hiked about 18km (yes, I'm so happy everything is in kilometers here!). That's 11 miles in just over 7 hours. So now you may judge the helicopter ride (and why I didn't post this update that same night.)

Meet Melsby, the kea!

When we started the hike to the summit, we thought for sure the 360-degree view on the top would be THE thing to see. Little did we know that a local celebrity would meet us at the top. His name is Melsby, and he's a kea, a bird that can only be found on the southern island of New Zealand.

Our guide told us that they are very smart birds and can even solve puzzles to get to food. We did witness that, because he was trying to get into one of the hiker's backpacks and when he couldn't, he found the mouth piece of the water bladder and squeezed it so water sprayed out of it. I think that was Melsby saying WTF. Kiwi's endearingly call keas "clowns of the mountain" because of their strong curiosity.

You may also notice the green band around his feet. That's a really cool system they use to keep track and monitor keas' behavior by using all back country hikers' eyes and ears. You can go to their website to report your sighting and even share photos. All you need is the color of the band and the number if you can read it. This one was a black 2 on a green band, which, when you search their database, identifies this big guy as Melsby. He's even got his own profile page (which now has my sighting too!)

DAY 9

Soaking in the Rainy Rainforest

Today was the highlight of any hiking experience in New Zealand: Hiking the last part of the Milford Track. It's a temperate rain forest in the Fjordland National Park, and unless you're a hardcore hiker who doesn't mind getting soaked and walking through puddles and small streams, this hike is not for you.

Oh yea, did I mentioned already that our trip started at 6:30 am? Bright and early, we were all bursting with anticipation. The weather was supposed to be absolutely perfect for the day ahead. Why? Because the forecast called for pouring rain. (Stop right here if you think we're crazy and you'd rather hike in a dry rainforest. Where's the fun in that?!). Another reason? Only on a rainy day does the Milford sound turn into the magical fairy world it is. More on that in the next post, but we already got a glimpse of that magic on our way to the sound: hundreds of silver waterfalls cascading down the steep granite cliffs as we ascended the pass and then descended into the Milford Sound area.

We got to the terminal around 8:30 am and I heard several in our group say "this is like Jurrasic Park." And it truly was, even more so because of the rain and the low hanging clouds. We were all in awe at how beautiful this place is.

We boarded our water taxi shortly there after. The ride took only about 5 minutes, over to Sandfly Point, for us the start, and for those hiking the full track the end of the Milford track. And New Zealanders aren't kidding when they named that place. Sandfly Point is home to what felt like millions of tiny sandflies that greet you the moment you step out of the water taxi. (You're welcome to turn around and jump right back into the taxi if you can't handle that).

So off we went into what was going to be part one of the most memorable experience ever. Within minutes of hiking, our pants were soaked and we started betting how long it would take for our waterproof shoes to let in that water from the hundreds of puddles and mini streams on the path. (For mine it took about 90 minutes before my toes were soaking in a clean water pool). We saw multiple areas where one of the worst storms ever hit New Zealand in February 2020. Landslides had destroyed multiple trails and roads and reconstruction was still going on throughout the entire National Park.

After about 3 miles, we reached our goal of this hike: Giant Gate Falls. It's a waterfall and stream you can only cross via a swinging bridge, and the water from the rain made the entire fall even more impressive than on a dry day. We had a quick stop for tea (with milk, of course, such a UK/commonwealth thing) before heading back the same way we came. 6 miles and roughly 4 hours later, we were all completely soaked. Our waterproof shoes had given up a long time ago. And even the rain protections for our backpacks were not made to weather the annual 10 meters/400 inches of rain you get in Milford Sound.

To put this in perspective: it rains 2 out of 3 days here, and if you go more than 2 days without rain, that's considered a drought. If you hike the full track, you're out there for 4-5, maybe even 6 days without any connection to the rest of the world. I have no idea how those hikers do it.

But, so here we were, soaking wet, and beyond excited about what lay ahead: the 2-hour cruise around Milford Sound.

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An Absolutely Otherworldly Place

I remember reading about Milford Sound in the Qantas magazine on my flight to New Zealand and they said that there should be a new dictionary for words to describe the Milford Sound, because no known words are enough to describe what this place is like. I thought that was all just marketing speak but now that I've seen it, I absolutely have to agree. Magnificant. Stunning. Incredible. Breahtaking. Otherwordly. None of them do this place any justice.

Our entire group agreed that our experience on the hike and on the cruise would not have been the same without the rain because there were literally thousands of waterfalls coming down the side of the hard rock cliffs.

Take that second photo for example. I took that photo looking out the back of the boat, thinking what an amazing waterfall that is. By the time I took that photo, there was a second waterfall, so I took that photo again. By the time I took that photo, there was a third waterfall and by the time I took that photo, there was a fourth waterfall. Literally every time you thought it couldn't get any better, Milford Sound trumped itself. None of these waterfall would have been there if it hadn't been raining (they are called the four sisters, by the way). There are only two permanent waterfalls in the entire sound, yet we got to see thousands of falls!

Speaking of thinking it couldn't get any better. We already had the best weather for the rainforest hike. And it was still raining when we started our cruise so we got to see all the waterfalls in full strenght. But just in time for our boat to turn around and make its way back to the dock, the rain stopped and the sun started to break through the clouds. That's when we got to see not only a thousand waterfalls, but also the true color of the sound: icy blue water. Lush green on grey rocks with silver waterfalls running down like veins to keep the sound alive.

It was spectacular and otherworldly. I literally can't find the words to describe this place.

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A Hermit Named Bruce

I think you all will enjoy this story that I forgot to mention yesterday.

When we got into our van on our Milford track day, there was someone sitting in the back. A shaggy looking man, with wild gray hair and a beard who was looking, not annoyed but very indifferent about us getting on. We did leave at 6:30 am so neither of us gave it a second thought because not everyone is a morning person and there's no judgment before 8:30 am anyway. Our guide Andrew introduced the man as Bruce, and said he wouldn't be hiking with us but was just getting a lift to the Milford airport. (Yes, believe it or not, there is an airport in Milford but it makes Lihu'e look like Heathrow. The 'terminal' is a literally a hut).

Anyway, as we dropped Bruce off at the 'airport' (I'm sorry, I can't really call that an airport), we saw that he had a huge banana box, like one you would find at Costco. (There are monkeys in New Zealand? Who knew!) Well, not quite because as we were leaving the 'airport' Andrew told us who Bruce really is. "He's a hermit" is what he started with. Apparently Bruce lives somewhere in the middle of nowhere in the thickest bush of Fjordland National Park and comes back to civilization every 2-3 months to get food. No idea where exactly he lives, but there must be some kind of 'airport' close by, unless he jumps out of the plane with his box of bananas (I kinda want to see that).

But just because he lives in the bush, doesn't mean he's cut off from the world. Apparently he uses Starlink and has high-speed internet (I'm scratching my head at the idea that a hermit in the bush has faster internet than Germany or me right now in Wanaka). He's on Facebook too. I am not, but please do let me know if you find his account... or his AirBnB listing...

DAY 10

A Story of Atmosphere and Jafas

Remember how the weather was gorgeous for the Kepler track and perfectly rainy for the Milford track? Well, today the weather god couldn't decide what to do, so we got almost everything: sunshine that turned into fog that turned into wind that turned into drizzle that turned into sunshine. That also explains why I took my rain jacket out just to put it right back just to take it right back out. It also explains why we all went from down jacket to t-shirt to long-sleeve to t-shirt. As our guide Ro said though, the weather added a great atmosphere to the hike, along with great opportunities to observe cloud movements high up in the alpine environment. After about 11km, we made it back to our van, and celebrated that we made it through three days of hiking!

We had a different guide every day and apparently (and of course), the guides talk among each other about what the group was like they were going to spend the next day with. Apparently our group got the reputation that we laugh at all the guide's jokes, are easy going and fun. (Well, we named our group "the Magnificent Seven" so I better hope we were a fun group).

Our day started at 8:45 am today (we got to sleep in, woohoo!) and shortly after Ro picked us up, we knew it was going to be a fun day. Ro was so cheerful and funny, we were laughing almost the entire ride to the track. She even joked about herself, saying that her future kid would be such a poor kid because it would have to endure dad jokes from the dad and even worse dad jokes from its mom.

Well, we had a blast and along the way, we (meaning I and the other two non New Zealanders) even learned a lot about what the people on the Southern Island really think about the Northern Island.

As Ro introduced herself, she just said that she was 'from that really big city up North' (that meant Auckland, that much I understood). When Andrew (one of the hikers) jokingly responded "oh jafa" I initially thought he was making a reference to Aladdin and Jafar, but could not for the life of me figure out the connection. So I was going through any words that may sounds like 'jafa' if you say it in a New Zealand accent but couldn't figure it out that way either. That's when Amanda (his wife) looked at the three of us from the US and enlightened us. Because JAFA stands for "just another f-ing Aucklander." Today was clearly becoming a lesson in true New Zealand dynamics between the North and South...

The second culture lesson came just as we were passing Lake Te Anau (the last photo in the first carousel). It's the second largest lake in New Zealand by surface size (second only to Lake Taupo in the North) but by far the largest in terms of volume. "Lake Taupo is much more shallow, just like other things on the Northern Island." Yikes, and that was Ro who said that, just for the record.

The last Ro joke I have to pass along came about 20 min before we arrived at the trailhead. We stopped at the 'luxury' toilets (they are called toilets here, not restrooms btw) at Knobs Flat. "That name makes some people very uncomfortable... Although a flat knob isn't very exciting." I'll leave it at that.

Three hikes in three days with a really fun group of people was a perfect start to my time in New Zealand. Next stop: Wānaka!